I’ve been thinking about the meaning of friendship. Although it initially felt like being kicked in the chest by Leonidas, it actually clarified the role that some of my friends play in my life and I ended up figuring out how to react to these new findings.
I think that friends should be comfortable sharing with one another. Sure, you might share or discuss specific topics with specific friends according to a set of common interests (e.g. it’s what we end up doing by creating Circles in Google Plus or Lists in Twitter). But you almost always have some very close friends with which you can talk about pretty much everything. You might not see that person for days, weeks, months or years, but conversation comes by easily and it seems like you spoke only yesterday.
Although I don’t have a lot of friends, I feel fortunate to have a few select individuals that make me feel comfortable enough to share both my private feelings and common day trivia. Unfortunately, one of those individuals is no longer in this group and I only fully realised it when I started thinking about this topic. There was a breadcrumb trail of puzzle pieces that went back about three years and all I needed to do was put those pieces together to get the full picture. Less and less details were being shared (achievements, trips, projects, goals, etc.). Conversations were increasingly shallow and mostly focused on trivial subjects pertaining to common interests.
And it just stopped. Silence. But not from me, of course. I waited for the first few days. Time was short and all that jazz. But it wasn’t short enough to keep that person from posting stuff online. Why didn’t I take the initiative to reinstate the communication channel? I realised I just didn’t care. I think this person still looks at me and sees the man I was years ago. I’ve changed and those who know me well are aware of the full depth of those changes. I have no time for those who judge me for what I was instead of accepting me for what I am. I don’t like silence, which is why I’ll probably exchange e-mails and share stuff online with that person, who will be just another online contact I have. Nothing more, nothing less.
The few true friends that I have will be cherished dearly. They’ve been massively important to me in these past twelve months and I actually think that some of them don’t even realize just how important they’ve been in helping me keep my mental sanity in check. They’ve given me huge amounts of support by simply listening and letting me share. For H, J, J, M, M and P (alphabetical order), thank you. I’m here for you too.